Good Vibes Only? Nah!
It is human to want. We often want the things that give us a sense of comfort - money, fame, love, and purpose. A life without any of this sounds uncomfortable. But is it really so bad?
Rhonda Byrne in her 2006 book ‘The Secret’ talks about the Law of Attraction - a way to manifest your desires and control the Universe with your thoughts. Good vibes all around.
The new thought philosophy suggests that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person’s life. So good “energy” from positive thoughts manifests itself into positive outcomes. While there is no empirical scientific evidence supporting this, there is a mystic yet intuitive appeal to it. After all, the last time you had a negative thought, it wasn’t much fun, was it? Happy thoughts on the other hand - can’t get enough of it.
So we will away any temporary discomfort arising from negative thoughts? The Stoics don’t think so.
Premeditatio Malorum
Stoic philosophers (like Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca) believed in a powerful idea called premeditatio malorum (premeditation of evils). It encourages thinking about bad or sometimes worst case scenarios, to be better prepared. According to the Stoics, negative feeling or discomfort is a judgment we assign to things, and not an attribute of the thing itself.
William B. Irvine, in his book on Stoicism ‘A Guide to the Good Life’ says: “To engage in negative visualization is to contemplate the bad things that happen to us”. This is not the same as living an imagined depressing life. On the contrary, it prepares us for when things don’t go according to plan. Sound familiar?
The Stoics take this all the way to premeditating one’s own death. But to start off, you can think about something less extreme. Like messing up an important presentation. What if customers do not love the product you built? What if you do not land that coveted job or project? Start with a palatable visualization and work your way up.
So negative thoughts is the way to go?
Not really.
Law of attraction is great at forcing one to articulate their goals. This is a big step in moving from a dream to a clear thought to reality. In the journey towards realizing our goals, there are going to be tough times. Acknowledge it and rehearse handling the fears, apprehensions, and any other undesired outcomes. Negative visualization prepares one to get past the challenges in the path towards one’s goals.
Controlled exposure to negative sensations gives one the courage to face these fears and overcome it with calm confidence. Think of it as a vaccine for better mental health.
A vaccine is a deliberate and controlled injection of a disease-causing agent into one’s body to stimulate antibodies. This strengthens one’s immunity. Willing for the virus to go away and visualizing a utopian future without putting in the work NOW, leaves you living an unrealized dream. The controlled exposure to temporary discomfort helps us come out stronger in the long run.
Alright then…
Law of attraction is powerful. Use it to articulate and break down goals. Negative visualization can feel overwhelming. It’s okay to take it slow.
- Be less dramatic about what you visualize and build up the practice gradually
- Make plans to handle the situations when things go wrong and rehearse this
- Repeated exposure in small doses over time is key
- Be mindful* during those moments you are entering/in/coming out of a ‘negative’ situation
- Be realistic about your starting point and stay kind to yourself
- Track and progress this continuous learning journey
*Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, and defer any judgment
Small doses of the uncomfortable things can can better prepare and strengthen us. Most of all, it helps us find a deeper and greater appreciation of the comforts and blessings in the here & now.
References
- Ryan Holiday’s Daily Stoic on Negative Visualization
- Rhonda Byrne’s ‘The Secret’
- Wiki Law of Attraction